Assignment 1: Self-Introduction Formal Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Dorathy Lim, a student from one of your effective communication classes and I am writing this letter to formally introduce myself.
I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Clean Energy Management under electrical engineering. Before I started my polytechnic studies, I was interested in science and had almost zero interest in engineering, only applying for my polytechnic course as a result of my family's encouragement. However, after completing my group projects and internship, my passion for engineering grew, leading me to pursue a degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services).
My strength in communication would be connecting with people on a personal level such as being open-minded when listening. I can easily understand people’s points of view. This strength enables me to receive feedback from peers which can be beneficial for my future. During my internship in polytechnic, I had to write reports that were necessary to obtain feedback from my supervisor to enhance it before sending it to clients.
In terms of my weakness, I lack confidence in public speaking. I tend to over analyze my thoughts causing fear of making an embarrassment of myself. Since young, I have always avoided expressing my opinions, thinking that it would be a better option to stay quiet. The insufficient practice of communicating with a bigger audience undermined my ability to speak effectively.
My goals in this module are first, to improve in communicating more effectively with people which will be useful for my future career. My next goal is to be more responsive whether if it is to convey my thoughts or just simply answer a question. I would like to feel more confident with myself when communicating.
With your teaching and guidance, I believe I will be able to learn a lot and hopefully be a fluent speaker at the end of the module.
Best regards,
Dorathy Lim
I have read Junying's, Nadia's and Atiqah's blog.
Revised on 30/11/2020.
Thanks very much, Dorathy, for this well articulated letter. I look forward to seeing substantial feedback from your blogging group members before I comment further.
ReplyDeleteDear Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking for taking your time in writing this letter, and through this letter I was able to learn more about you as a person and as a friend. I am writing to share with you on my thoughts for your letter.
Before I start to share with you my thoughts, it was nice to see that despite you did not have any interest in engineering, you managed to find something you did not expect to be interested in which is engineering, and made you continue to pursue this passion. In terms of your content, it managed to meet the requirement that was assigned to ask, and you managed to share with us more on why you decided to further pursue that passion with this degree
Secondly, for your organization, I could tell that the letter was well thought-out beforehand, with the flow of mentioning then giving concrete evidence at the back, using your strength as an example, you mentioned how you remained neutral while listening to feedback, and in the next sentence, you gave an example on how you demonstrate being neutral though your internship.
Lastly, in terms of your language, your first paragraph was amusing initially, as you had no interest in coming into engineering but due to your family’s motivation you decided to give it a shot. I would like to point out that in your sentence ‘Before beginning my polytechnic studies, I was interested in science and had almost zero interest in engineering’ the word ‘before’ and ‘beginning’ have the same meaning, so you are just repeating the same point, maybe you can say ‘Before I started my polytechnic studies, I was interested in science and had almost zero interest in engineering’. It is important to listen to other people inputs before giving your own input as you may not see the full story, in your third paragraph, you mentioned that ‘I had to write reports and it was necessary to obtain feedback’, I believed it can be further enhance by changing it to ‘I had to write reports that was necessary to obtain feedback’
I sincerely hope that you would be able to achieve the goals that you set out to do and be more confident in communicating.
Yours sincerely,
Bryan Lim
Hi Bryan,
DeleteThank you for taking your time to read my letter and giving me feedback on where I can improve on.
Regards,
Dorathy
Dear Dorathy
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking your time into writing your self introduction, through this I was able to understand your character better. It warms my heart that you decided to pursue your interest in engineering after finding the heart for it. I look forward to getting to know you better throughout the course of our university life.
In terms of content, the basics are being touched on and you have elaborated on them sufficiently. Your goals and weakness go hand in hand with one another as it shows that you are willing to overcome your weakness while taking this module. Taking into consideration people's feelings and thoughts are important but at the same time I believe that your opinion matters too. Sometimes, with your inputs, it could help improve the situation as it would be coming from another perspective, another eye. Please do not hide behind the walls that you have created for yourself and be courageous to venture out of your comfort zone, just like you did when you decided to pursue in engineering before entering your polytechnic years.
Thank you once again for taking the time to write this introduction. I hope that we can get to know one another better from now on.
Regards
Nurul Nadia
Hi Nadia,
DeleteThank you for taking your time to read my letter and for your encouragements, it pushes me on to do better. I hope we can get to know one another better too.
Regards,
Dorathy
Thank you for taking some time to write this introductory letter which has allowed me to understand you better. After reading your letter, I would like to share my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBased on your letter, I found it fascinating that you found your interest in engineering when you started your course in polytechnic, and part of it was due to the projects. As I am unfamiliar with electrical engineering, I would like to know what were some of the modules you took and what did you do as an intern.
Overall, the content of your letter is clear and the flow of your letter easy to understand. The topics were covered but it was fairly elaborated. Such an example is what were the projects you did that lead you to have an interest in engineering? What were your roles during your internship?
Thank you once again for writing this letter and letting me know you better. I hope that you'll be able to achieve your goals towards the end of the course.
Regards
Nur Atiqah Nadia
Hi Atiqah,
DeleteThank you for taking your time to read my letter and giving me constructive feedbacks, this can help me to improve my letter better. I hope that I can share more about my polytechnic experience with you and get to know you more too.
Regards,
Dorathy.
Dear Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well written letter. You address the key requirements of the assignment and add some detail for color. I welcome the good fluency of ideas and your confidence that the module. can help facilitate your growth
You've also received useful feedback from your peers. Be sure to acknowledge your peers' input. Doing so would be a sign that you're moving toward the application of the art/science of communication. In terms of addressing your stated goal -- "more confident with myself when communicating" -- here's what I suggest: Set a goal each day for how often you will offer thoughts and opionions in class. Say to yourself, for example, that "today I'm going to speak up at least once when Brad calls on someone to give input." I have already noticed that you are more confident speaking with me, in both our small groups disucssions and one on one. Let's see you step up and do as Dexter and Nadia are confident in doing, which is speaking before the whole group with ease.
Practice makes perfect.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and leaving a comment.
Your encouragement means a lot to me and I will definitely try my best to implement your suggestion.
Regards,
Dorathy